My biological clock is ticking

I'm having another birthday.  I'm turning 28 on Thursday but it feels like I've been 28 for about 6 months already because I've kind of been thinking about it a lot.  28!  That's almost 30!  It really makes me a bit sad.  It also makes me a bit happy.  Sad because I'm almost out of my twenties and I feel like once I'm out of my twenties, I will start to age a lot and life will just fly by.  It's probably not completely true and I know a lot of it has to do with how I take care of myself in every way. I think it's just a thought I've always had; I'll blame the media for that.  I'm also a bit happy because now when people ask me how old I am and are looking at my 3 kids, I say my age and they "accept" it.  It took years to get to this point, especially when I wasn't in Utah!  I would get that look like, "oh poor little teenager got pregnant."  I don't get that look as much anymore, and I'm in Texas now.  So I think it means I've aged (I have!) or sometimes I flatter myself and think, "well, maybe I look like I've got it under control;)" (I don't!).  I'm also sad I'm almost 30 because that means my biological clock is a tickin'!  When Rich and I got married, he wanted 10- 12 kids, I wanted 6-8.  We have both always wanted a big family, and it's not because we are "Mormon."  As we had children the numbers went down.  Not because we don't love children but because we are broke and busting out of the seams in our home, and we aren't as good at managing kids+house+health+oh everything, ya know, as we originally thought we would be.  Maybe we just need to increase our faith!  (isn't that always the answer?!).  Now I have just 7 years left (that seems longer when I write it out) to space out having more children.  So now you are thinking, "so they are having more?"  I don't know.  Everyday I look at Cooper and I want more...a lot more.  And everyday, I look at my dishes and my laundry, and feel guilty for losing my cool with my oldest kids and I think, "I better wait a long time before I have another."  But being 28 really puts the pressure on!  I really think this is why this birthday is causing me some anxiety, because I'm just not wanting to be coming up on my "unsafe-to-be-pregnant-years."  I just love being a mom!  I hate that I'm not always the mom I wish I were, but I try my best to improve daily.  It's been the greatest learning experience ever.  Anyway, I should probably spend this next year remembering I am 28 and not 29 or even 30 yet.  I still think I'm way too immature and irresponsible to be this old but am excited about where I am going and who I am becoming (cheesy I know, but hey, I am)! 

Now, because I am on a roll with talking about myself, why stop now?! he.he.he. ha.ha.ha. In honor of turning 28, here are 28 random things about me (not in any order and not necessarily what I consider most important in life (some are though), just random things that my 28 year old self is all about.  It might be fun to later look back and see how I was at this age.

1.) I love being a mom!  I am tired a lot and often need breaks, but I can't stand being away from my kids for long.  I love them so very much! 
2.) I love being married and I have learned so much about myself and my husband and feel that marriage gets better and better if you work hard at it and on yourself.
3.) I have a testimony of my Savior and know that without Him at the center of my life, things fall apart and I have some really ugly weaknesses.  I've learned this the hard way, too many times, and am not claiming to have mastered this, it's just something I know is true and strive towards.
4.) I absolutely hate making dinner.  I hate thinking about what to make for dinner even more.  I dread it daily and I often make things that normal people wouldn't consider a "real complete meal."  I just hate it!!  BUT I have to admit, every time I make dinner for my family I still feel good about myself and it does bring me joy to know I served them.  And when they enjoy it, that is a real treat for me.  Oh but I still hate making dinner!
5.) I have finally reached a point in my life where health means something to me.  I always knew this day would come and it has. It came in a very painful and inconvenient way after Cooper was born and woke me up, and I have since been taking my health seriously and have made some great changes that bring me peace.  I still have a way to go but I'm grateful for the things I am learning and grateful that I finally care a lot more now.
6.) I value sleep.  This is something that has not changed with me.  I love to sleep and it's such a scarcity to me right now.  But as much as I love sleep, I'm still a night owl and can't seem to grow up and just discipline myself and go to bed at a decent time. 
7.) I love to read!  I still don't ever pick up novels.  I just don't have the desire (nothing against them), just interested in too many other books.  I always try to have a book on me if I know I am going to be waiting around, even in the school pick up line.  This is why an iPad is something I dream of having one day. 
8.) I'm fascinated with photography.  I really like to take pictures and then edit them.  I'm not really good at it, but I like doing it.  I still hope to one day have an awesome camera and maybe even take pictures on the side for money, if I ever get good enough.  I love seeing what others are doing with their photography skills.
9.) I am a sucker for reality t.v.  I have realized it's a total weakness.  I get sucked in and addicted.  I have to be so careful what I start watching and lately have succeeded in resisting the temptation to certain shows.  The less I watch it, the less I enjoy it and the more I lose my desire for it, so that is key for me (if it's something not so worthy).  Not saying all of them are bad.  Some of them are inspiring, like "19 Kids and Counting"- love that one.  But I do get hooked easily and have to be careful because a lot of it is trash.
10.) I love interior design and dream of having our own house again.  And in that dream I have money to play with:).  I know my day will  come to decorate and customize a house again!  Meanwhile, if I have a moment I get my fix from HGTV.  I know it's not important, but it is a hobby of mine.
11.) I LOVE me a mango!  Mangos are one of my current favorite foods.  At night when the kids are in bed and Rich is working, I love to just sit and eat a chilled mango.  It's so refreshing!
12.) Something that has come with age (I know I act like I am just sooo old) is an appreciation for certain things such as flowers.  When I first started dating Rich, even years into our marriage, I would tell him around anniversaries and birthdays, etc, not to get me flowers.  I always liked flowers but never wanted to spend the money on them.  I just didn't appreciate them much.  Now, when he brings me flowers I am very appreciative.  Every time I look at them on my table I feel his love and I have a happy feeling and it just feels brighter inside my home.  I still wouldn't want him to buy them too often because of money, but I do appreciate them more now. 
13.) I love to clean but find it to be my biggest challenge now a days.  I do not like to clean with children around.  I like to get on a roll and go to town.  So sometimes I think I hate cleaning, but really, I just don't like doing it with people around.  I want no interruptions.  I find it therapeutic.
14.) Speaking of cleaning.  Yes, I did just say I love to clean, but I do not like doing dishes.  I never have, probably never will.  It's a toss up what I hate more; making dinner or doing dishes.  Although making dinner only brings more dishes...I think that may have a lot to do with not liking dinner.  I have learned that a dirty kitchen usually leads to a messy house, and I love when my kitchen is clean, but i procrastinate big time with dishes. 
15.) Do you ever make mental material wish lists?  I do.  It's probably not a good thing.  But hey, it's just a wish list. So here is mine at 28 years old:  A nice camera, photoshop, an iPad, a dehydrator, a grain mill, water ionizer, a house with a back yard, my own garden, a 3 bedroom home, new bedroom furniture, a laptop, a Honda Odessy, okay, I'm getting carried away....
16.) Exercise....I am not consistent with it.  I blame it on fatigue and not having enough alone time, or my injuries, but those are just excuses.  Mentally, I want to though.  When I do excersise, I most enjoy doing workout videos in my living room, walks outside with the kids, or conditioning at home while listening to music.
17.) Another thing that is coming with age/growth is being more comfortable in social settings.  I'm getting there slowly but surely.  I don't care for big crowds and would still rather be one on one with a close friend than with a group of not so close friends, but I'm making progress.  And we've finally lived here long enough to see some friendships grow deeper. 
18.) I love babies.  I kind of want to have a baby around for the rest of my life!  I can't get enough of my Cooper.  I hope my kids have a ton of kids.  And I hope that when they are older they will want to be around us a lot and bring their babies over.
19.) I love reading books with my older kids.  I also love listening to them read!  It's one of my favorite times of the day!
20.) Getting text messages from Rich are a highlight in my day.  It doesn't happen every day but love them when they come!
21.) I like text messages, period!  I know this world is getting completely impersonal and all, and I agree, but talking on the phone is something I do very little of these days.  I can barely answer my phone and sometimes it takes me days to find the right time to call someone back.  I feel bad about it, but it's so challenging with kids.  Texting, emailing...so convenient.  Being in person is still the best though.
22.) I am also fascinated with homeschooling.  I am not against public schools.  I just love the concept behind homeschooling.  I was extremely close to homeschooling this year, but decided it wasn't the right time for me or Julien.  I don't know if I ever will home school my kids but I hope it will work out one day for us.  So I'm currently studying homeschooling ideas on the side and it's high on my interest list these days. 
23.) My current wishes are to move back to Utah, visit family, visit old friends, go on a family vacation, and to have my husband land some amazing dream job where our income increases and he can have a normal schedule!
24.) My average bedtime is 12:30-1:00 am.  I know, I'm stretching here, running out of things to say, but this could be something to look back on and see progress in..at least I hope I make progress in this department.

Okay, so I just can't make it to 28.  But that is me at this point in time.  Don't think anyone will actually read that whole thing, but it's alright.  It's for me and my family to look back on.  I've tried to talk about each person on my blog when I mention their birthday, and how they are at that particular age.  So there you have it.  If you actually read that whole thing, to that I say, "Wow!  Thanks for taking the time!"   

Happy Birthday to me!  I hope 28 is a year of growth and maturity and more of the joy I have now!